


Aftermath

by WookyOwl



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Arthur Finds Out, BAMF Merlin, Dragons, M/M, Merlin Centric, Pining Arthur, Reveal Fic, eventually dragons, king arthur - Freeform, merlin gets the wrong idea
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-03
Updated: 2016-08-13
Packaged: 2018-06-06 01:29:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6732304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WookyOwl/pseuds/WookyOwl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin revealed his magic against his will when under Morgana’s control. Now he tries to work through or at the very least survive, the fall out.</p>
<p>(A rewrite to the end of the Merlin series, centring more on Merlin himself as he grows into his destiny.)</p>
<p>((Also dragons. More dragons. ))</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Merlin awoke to a blurred vision of Gaius’s room, his head groggy and his ears ringing. It felt reminiscent of a time he had gone 9 rounds at the tavern trying (and ultimately failing) to match Gwaine drink for drink.

After three attempts and a large amount of effort Merlin managed to sit up. Taking a moment for his head to clear he tried to move his hands but too no avail. His wrists were cuffed to the posts of the bed, cold iron digging into the edge of his palm causing red dentations to appear were his hands once hung.

Merlin blinked repeatedly in an attempt to clear his vision and in his head tried to figure out what in the world was going on. His current and most logical theory is that he had been ill, it would explain why he felt so awful now, and that he had a fever or a fit of some kind so they needed to tie him up lest he hurt himself or someone else. But why would he be left alone, Gaius spends most of his time in his quarters, more so when he’s treating patient. But all thoughts ceased when Merlin lent towards the cuffs encircling his right hand where something caught his eye. Along the inside of the circlet it was lined with a metal, that he at first thought was cold iron but it shone more clearly and was lighter in colour.

Silver.

Merlin felt his heart stop as he looked in horror at the cuffs. He recognised these cuffs, remembers when Arthur had commissioned them not too long ago. The King had realised that they had no means of capturing users of magic. Under Uther’s rule anyone with a whiff of magic was killed not arrested, and if they were it wasn’t for long. A traveling witch hunter had advised Arthur what material could be used to bind a person’s magic and as creepy and downright terrifying Merlin had found the man he couldn’t fault his knowledge.

Iron can absorb low levels of magic but silver was the real kicker when it came to the binding of magic. So with that knowledge in hand several sets of cuffs were made. Plain cold iron ones for basic low level magic and then different sets with different levels of silver concentration for higher levels of magic.

A pure silver set had been made with Morgana’s name on it.

The cuffs that held Merlin captive meant two things: One, that Arthur knew of Merlin’s magic but, two, was still unaware of how much power Merlin held.

With the though that Arthur, his Arthur, now knew of his secret that he guarded so carefully made his panic skyrocket. He pulled at the cuffs in desperation, was Arthur going to kill him? Would he let Merlin explain himself? Did Arthur hate him? Questions and scenarios whirled around Merlin’s mind fuelling the fear that was seizing him. And as his mind screamed out in terror his magic answered in kind.

He could feel his magic race through his veins, most of it congregating in his hands. His magic pushed at the silvers binding, testing it. Usually his magic felt like sunlight, warm and weightless, hard to direct but pure and unyielding. But now it behaved akin to an uncontrollable blaze causing it spark and flare out at the slivers pitiful attempts at binding it.

It took no time at all for his magic to render the silver useless by overpowering it and fusing itself with the offending metal. In seconds the silver began to melt from the inside out. The silver dripped off of the cuff like water as his magic then moved onto the iron cuffs. His magic took affect even quicker with the iron than the silver. The iron began to convulse and twitch and with an abrupt crack it broke into pieces as if it were made out of glass.

Merlin stared in awe at his hands, feeling them shake, with fear or power he could not tell. He scrambled off of the bed and ran to his room. He stilled in the doorway to take in the state of his quarters, it looked as if a hurricane had hit it. His books lay scattered all over the floor some broken or ripped, his closet had been raided and the few clothes that he had were strewn around the room. The bed had been dragged to the middle of the room and the mattress was thrown up against the far room.

The reality of the situation hit Merlin like a punch to the stomach. There was no going back from this; there was no way to ignore it. To go back to the way it was.

Merlin leant on the doorway and slid down it. How could this happen? He thought. What did happen? He closed his eyes and all he could remember was being under Morgana’s influence through no will of his own. Did Morgana know? Is that why she took him?

“ _Kill Arthur Pendragon_ ” 

“No… God no, please.” Merlin whispered as he remembered the snippet of a memory, tears began to fall. Did he kill Arthur? Merlin tried desperately to remember but all he could see was Morgana’s eyes. Cruel mirth shone in them as she took in malicious glee of Merlins pain.

A crash sounded inside Merlins room, making him jump. His magic had once again had acted with a mind of its own, it had began throwing Merlins possessions around the room levitating his clothes, books even the one end of his bed as it dragged it back towards the wall. Strands of thin lightening cracked in the room singeing the floor.

“ _Dyttaþ_ ” Merlin yelled as his got up from the floor, his voice cracked as his emotion took hold of him. Though Merlin commanded his magic to stop, it was reacting too strongly to Merlin’s emotional turmoil for it to be controlled.

His magic rushed out of his room with such a force that it knocked Merlin over causing him to crash down the stairs. Groaning in pain, he staggered up clutching his shoulder when it let out a twinge of sharp pain.

“ _Dyttaþ!_ ” he tried again making his voice louder but no less broken. Merlin couldn’t deal with his erratic magic on top of everything. He had been tied up, his room ransacked, his magic revealed to who knows how many people and Arthur could be dead by his own hand.

“Open this door, sorcerer” someone began to pound on the wooden door making Merlin jump. From what he could tell they were not alone, Merlin could hear the clacking of armour and raised voices of what he could only guess were Knights. 

He needed to get out; if theKknights caught him he would be taken to the dungeon or worse. He needed to find Arthur, make sure he was alive, after that Merlin would take whatever punishment that would be bestowed him. Merlin ran back to his room and started to rip up the floorboards under where his bed used to reside.

“Please be there, please.” Merlin muttered, even though he could hardly himself over the din over his magic throwing a tantrum and the efforts of the knights trying to break into the room. Under the dusty floorboards, was his book of spells. Dragging it up he opened up on the floor, muttering to himself as he flips the pages.

The pounding stopped but the knights were now trying to break down the door that had apparently been sealed due to Merlins magic. Merlin though it to be a mite unfair, they didn’t have to knock down Gaius’s door.

“If you break that door you can bloody well fix it too” Merlin shouted to the knights, but felt a bit hypocritical when he realised his erratic magic has smashed about half of Gaius’s equipment. With a shout of triumph when he found the page he was looking for. Quickly skimming the words, he chanted the incantation to himself over and over before shoving the book back into its hiding place. Merlin went to the window and felt the magic gather within him and around him.

“King Arthur will have your head boy after what you did to that serving girl.” The same voice shouted from behind the door.

Merlins mind went blank for what felt like the 6th time in 20 minutes. King Arthur wants his head? He’s alive. Merlin thought relief coursing through his body, Arthur seems to want him dead but he’s alive. But then what the knight had said caught up to him.

“Serving girl? What serving girl?” Merlin called back, confusion laced his words.

“Don’t play dumb lad, Lady Morgana’s old maid, you almost killed her! Still could from what I hear. Shes only just hanging on.” Whether the knight was trying to taunt him or stall him Merlin didn’t know, but was thankful for the information anyway.

“Gwen.” Merlin whispered, before looking out of the window his face set and determined. He had been able to reign in most of his magic, and with a deep breath he ran towards the window and leapt.

“ _Bredan herefugol_ ” he whispered as he leapt.

It was a risk Merlin knew, he had never tried this spell before but he could hear his gamble pay off as seconds after he jumped the Knights and guards spilled into the room. He felt his whole body change, his skin was tightening and shrinking, his teeth ached and his jaw stretched. Feathers grew along his arms as they twisted and shifted to make wings.

Now Merlin had done many things in his short life but flying solo was not one of them. Merlin awkwardly tried to outstretch his arms - no wait- wings, in the hopes of gliding, or at least falling gracefully.

He got the falling part down, the graceful part not so much.

He landed (crashed) inside the courtyard where there were little amounts of people for dusk began to fall. Merlin ran, or hopped depending or perspective, towards a cart and hid. Merlin looked back up to his window and saw glimpses of the Knights searching his rooms. After a few moments they left, probably to check the rest of the castle, this was Merlins chance. 

Merlin hopped out from of the cart and began to flap his wing as hard as he could. Turns out flings harder than you think. Merlin best attempt was about his 5th, he got around 6 foot before crashing down and into a horses trough knocking it over soaking him in the process. Disgruntled, he shook himself off and went to try again but with his sharpened vision he swy someone walking cautiously towards him.

“Wow look at you lil birdy, pretty aint ya?” a man who Merlin recognised as Joseph, a stable hand with a limp. He walked closer towards him, a hand full of seeds outstretched.

“You one of the kings birds? One of his falcons?” Joseph continued to talk, as if the sound of his voice would distract Merlin from the fact he was getting closer. A few feet away Joseph stopped and peered at him.

“Oh I see, you’s a Merlin.” Joseph nodded to himself with a sad look in his eye.

A Merlin. The irony was not lost on Merlin.

“Guess the king let you go, didn’t he? Didn’t wanna be reminded of him I suppose. Shame it is, I liked him, Merlin that is. Always with smile an’ a kind word, no one believed it when ‘e tried to kill the King. Not even the king ‘imself!” Joesph sighed and stood back up.

“Always had a soft spot for ‘im the king did. Never saw one with out the other. Gonna be odd now.”

Joseph stared at the castle for a moment before throwing the seeds on the floor, he went to the water trough as Merlin hopped out of his way. Joseph set it back on its feet and turned back to Merlin.

“Fly away lil birdy, I think Merlins of all kinds ‘ave done enough damage for today” and with that he walked back to the stables entrance his hands in his pockets and head hung low.

Merlin watched him go his heart heavy, before stretching his wings wide and with one last push of determination he launched into the sky and towards the castle to witness the damage he had caused.


	2. Chapter 2

The Castle of Camelot, though lovely in all it splendour, was huge. Even more so for something smaller than a chicken. Merlin narrowed Gwen’s location to three places; the servant’s rooms, Arthur’s rooms or her house down in the city. Merlin flew to the servant’s quarters first, it was closer and if he couldn’t find her it wouldn’t be a long wait until he overhears some gossiping servants that would, unknowingly, give him the information he needs. 

Merlin knew the servant quarters like the back of his hand. He knew that the kitchen door would stick in cold weather, that the hanging banner in the living quarters hid a decent dent in the wall that was a result of a Christmas party that they all pretended never happened and that Cook suffered from hot flushes and kept the pantry window open to catch a draft into the kitchen.

After squeezing through said pantry window Merlin hopped onto the floor and, with a large amount of effort, pushed the pantry door open a crack. Merlin peered through the gap and saw no one, which was abnormal; the kitchen is often bustling with servants, only ever this quiet in the dead of night. 

Keeping a sharp eye on the kitchen for any movement, he darted over to the kitchen door. By the left of the door was a small hole that should have been repaired two years ago. It took a few attempts and some ruffled feathers but Merlin pushed his way through. Knowing that a Merlin walking the servant’s kitchens was hardly a normal sight for these parts, and something that would definitely draw attention, Merlin immediately flew to a ceiling beam so he could hide out of sight.

His perch loomed above the dining room, which, to Merlins surprise, was heaving with people. All of them crowded around the rickety dining table, some sat on the matching wooden chairs, but most stood and bickered amongst themselves. The commotion made by the arguing rose slowly but steadily in volume, all of them trying to make themselves heard until someone would bellow for quiet. But it never would stay quiet long. 

It didn’t take long for Merlin to figure out what they were all talking about. He heard his name thrown around too much for it to be a coincidence. Arthurs and Gwen’s names kept popping up as well. Looking around the mass of people Merlin saw something that made him sick to his stomach, some of the servants had scrapes and bruises and a few of them had been bandaged up in some way.

How many people have suffered at his own hands?

Merlin felt his heart tear slightly more, he wished he could go down there, help in some way, but Gwen was his priority. When working in the castle you get to know almost everybody, and the servants banded together more than most. And he may have once been the Kings manservant but he was a servant none the less. He once belonged in that group, one that was made up of co-workers but felt more akin to a family. Who, he could only speculate, he had hurt.

“They say he’ll burn at dawn’ A young girl said in a small voice, her hands clutching together. Millie was her name, a sweet but timid girl who worked in the kitchens. Once, after a spectacularly shitty day, she had granted him a kindness and made him some fruit cake with the left overs from the kitchen. Next to her a red haired woman stood up, her red hair in disarray but still tied loosely in a bun. That was Clara, a woman as feisty as her hair is red. She looked after the new servants, teaching them the ropes and such. She was fond of tough love but had a protective streak like no other. Merlin remembered her taking him under her wing, helped him when juggling Gaius chores and the duty’s of being a manservant got too much. She also laughed like a donkey, Merlin, being a ‘cheeky bugger’ as she used to put it, made it his mission to make her laugh everyday.

“Well I won’t be going.” Clara declared, she stood up from her seat her hands slamming on the table. “Merlin’s one of us.”

“No, Clara he was one of them.” A stocky man spat, he strode to the table and braced his hands on top of it. “He made us out as fools for believing him, hell, some may think of us as traitors thinking we helped him or protected him somehow. Clara you may stomp your feet and pout till the day ends but I’ll be cheering on as the flames rise. Bastard deserves everything he gets.”

“For what being born with magic? How is that fair, Jasper? Being killed for something you have no choice over?” Clara argued back, face turning red. 

“Ha! ‘Born with magic’ how naive are you woman? No ones born with magic, a spark maybe, but not fully formed magic. What that _thing_ did to Gwen that wasn’t accidental sweetheart. He tried and, lets not forget, almost succeeded in killing her.” Jasper yelled back, slamming his fists against the table.

“That’s not true” Millie said, “according to the Druids of old its possible to be born with elemental magic. It’s rare but they don’t need spells.” Millie looked up around her hoping that she had said the right thing but Jaspers glare was like a promise of death. Millie flinched and quickly went back to looking her hands but it was too late Jasper was locked onto her and moved towards her with darkness in his eyes.

“Now how would you know that then lass?” His voice was like shattered glass, sharp and dangerous. “That kind of thing doesn’t seem like common knowledge to me. You been talking to magic users? To Druids?” He was getting closer to her now, no one else moved but Clara who planted herself between Jasper and the shaking young girl. Some stayed quiet in fear of earning Jaspers wrath while the others began to eye Millie up with a suspicious looks. 

A step closer towards the girl and Merlin was going to aim at Jaspers head. 

Saying that Merlin was tempted to do so anyway.

“That’s enough Jasper.” Someone said, and from the crowd came George. “It’s been one hell of a night and I think we’ve all had enough.” Jasper shook his head and turned to him.

“You were right George. Thought you were a dick for hating him so much, but I guess you were onto something weren’t ya?” Jasper said. “Saw right through him, didn’t you George?”

“I didn’t hate him”

“Well- ”

“I didn’t hate him. Never did.”

“But- ” Jasper began to protest but George cut him off again.

“I thought Merlin was useless as servant, yes, even more so as a manservant to the king. He couldn’t get anything right, he was constantly falling over his own feet and rather slow to thought some days.”

_Gee George_ , thought Merlin, _tell me what you really think._

“But Merlin was a good man and I dare say he still is. What he lacked in ability and manners he made up for in spades with his loyalty and his kindness” George crossed his arms a scowl on his lips when he heard Jaspers snort.

“It seems in your quickness to judge you have forgotten who it was who got your little Jessica medicine when her fever struck two summers ago.” George raised an eyebrow at Jasper whose speech stuttered to a stop.

“Magic he may be but it isn’t all what Merlin was. Is.” George stated, and with a cool look around the room he spoke again “I think this impromptu meeting is over, no?” The room was then filled with the noise of the shuffling of feet and murmurs as the servants began to file out.

Merlin couldn’t move even if he wanted to. The moment he had woken up chained to the bed, he knew, _he knew_ , that his world had shifted. How much it shifted he didn’t know.

He did now.

He expected them to hate him, he was ready for it, or so he thought. On days where he cut it too close with his magic he would sit on his bed and imagine it, imagine what it would be like if they all _knew_. At first those daydreams were naively optimistic, but as time passed and the lies grew the imagined reactions became darker and more hateful and he accepted it. Every single time he accepted it, what people would say, what the Knights would say and how Gwen would react. And he accepted their anger their _hate_.

But never Arthur. Never.

Merlin had predicated their anger but all that preparing he had done washed away. Every comment about his magic or the fact that some wanted him dead stabbed at him with a ferocity that nearly knocked him of his perch. But what stopped him was something he could never of saw coming. Some saw through it all, they saw through his magic, his secrets and saw _Merlin_. 

“What about Gwen?” a voice interrupted Merlins astounded thoughts and cut through the din of the hall. All movements in the room stilled as they turned back to the table.

“Merlin tried to kill Gwen” someone else shouted, “We can’t just pretend that it never happened! He can’t just be excused for it just because he was once ‘one of us’” Murmurs of agreement floated around the room. 

Clara, again, decided to speak up.

“We don’t know what happened, maybe there something else at foot?”

“What if he’s in league with the witch?” some scared voice called out. George stepped forwards and backed Clara up.

“We can’t know for definite, but what we do know is that his Highness is dealing with it this very moment. King Arthur will punish Merlin as he see’s fit.”

“He’ll burn at dawn then” Millie repeated with sadness in her voice, “We all know the Kings regard for Gwen. He will burn.”

“Don’t be so sure of that lass.” Jasper said looking calmer but still pissed off. “I don’t think the King will be able to bring himself to kill the traitor, no matter what he’s done.” 

Merlin had heard enough, and what he had heard gave him more questions then answers. And he still didn’t know where Gwen was but was clear she wasn’t there. And With a flap of his wings, he glided out of the room through the window and into the night, leaving a torn family behind him.

Merlins head was clouded with echoes of their voices. All he could do as he glided down and around the castle to Arthur’s rooms was repeat everything they had said in his head. It was distracting, and, as Merlin was about to find out find flying whilst distracted is dangerous, as he almost ended up splattered on Arthur’s window.

After scrambling onto the window ledge Merlin took a look through the glass. Nothing had changed; Arthur’s desk was still pristine, his chair tucked in. The floor was littered with Arthur’s clothes, and in the corner by the wardrobe was a forgotten pillow that Arthur had chucked at Merlins head one particularly early morning. But in Arthurs bed was a breathing lump cocooned in red blankets.

_Gwen._

Merlins breath caught, she was so still. With another glance around the room he saw someone in the chair their head lolled to the side in what looked like an uncomftable sleep. Gaius. From what he could see with his heightened eyesight were dark circles under his old mentors eyes, and he could hear his rumbled breathing on the other side of the pane.

Having to sneak past Gaius on a regular bases has taught Merlin some of his quirks such as Gaius’s rumbled and slightly concerning breathing, which always s indicated when the old physician was out for the count.

Merlin looked at the window seam and saw the latch that locked it closed. Merlin closed his eyes, and with his beak yanked a feather from his wing. Settling the feather down on the ledge, he took a deep breath and whispered “ _Edhwierft galdor_ " and with that Merlin was perched precariously in his very human very non-flying body. 

With the mantra “don’tlookdowndon’tlookdown” repeating in his head, he turned slightly and grabbed the feather that lay by his side. He slid the feather through the gap in between the windowpanes and tried to unlatch the lock with the flimsy feather. Minutes ticked by and it made Merlin nervous, the longer he spent on this the more likely it was someone would return to the room and see him. 

After a few tense minutes he was no closer to opening the window than he was when he was a bird and his frustration bubbled over. With a muffled yell he punched the side of the Castle, his fist smacking onto concrete.

“All I want to do is see her,” Merlin pleaded into the air as he rested his forehead on the window and cradled his now bleeding hand in his other, “I just want to say I’m sorry.” A creak sounded to his left and when he looked up he saw faded tendrils of golden magic twist around the now opened window. 

Never to look a gift horse in the mouth Merlin shuffled around on the ledge until he was able to hook his legs into the room and slip inside. When he straightened himself up and quickly checked on Gaius who was, predictably, sound asleep. 

But Gwen, apparently, was not.

“Whose there?” Gwen’s scratchy voice called out, he saw her struggle to get up reaching out for letter opener that lay on Arthurs bedside table. “There are guards outside. I wouldn’t try anything if you want to get caught.” Her voice was getting hoarser and hoarser in panic. 

“It’s me” Its all what Merlin could think to say, his voice shook as he stood by the window debating if he should stay or run. Gwen froze completely, blankets and curtains were hiding her from Merlins view but he dare not move. He didn’t want to scare her.

“Merlin?” Gwen called out, and, oh god Merlin thought, was that fear in her voice? Fear of him?

“Unfortunately.” He answered truthfully. 

“What are you doing here?” she questioned but all Merlin could hear was ‘ _Have you come to finish the job?_ ’

“I just woke up.” Honesty is all he could do now. She deserved more, that much is true, but all Merlin could give her was the truth. It was nice change from lying anyways. “I was chained to a bed with silver. I escaped, I probably shouldn’t of but I panicked.” 

Merlin stepped to the side, not closer to Gwen but into the light so she could see him better. He heard her gasp quietly she could probably see the red welts the cuffs made. 

“What did I do Gwen?” Merlin felt broken, he most likely sounded it too but he found he could not care. Gwen’s hand curled around the curtain that hide her face and pulled it back and Merlins heart broke.

It wasn’t a question if he would or should he be burned, but when. Because he would deserve it after what he had done to a friend.

Gwen’s neck was mottled with gruesome purple bruises swelling had begun to appear around her jaw, he saw her swallow and the pain it caused her to do such. Merlin was speechless, he reached a hand towards her and took a step closer but she flinched back, so Merlin crumpled to his knees instead.

“I’m so sorry. I… don’t know what to say because those words are so weak for what I have done.” Tear trickled down Merlins cheeks as he hung his head in shame. “But it is all I can do, I’m sorry, I’m so- oh god- I’m so sorry”

“You don’t remember.” She stated, but she looked suspicious which she had every right to be. She held her chin high but her eyes were full of tears as she stared at his slumped figure.

“No” Merlin whispered. His hands shook in front of him the trembling just wouldn’t stop.

“Morgana.” She spat, “are you with Morgana.” 

“No. Never. Remember a week ago?”

“You went missing,” she recalled.

“She captured me. Put something in me to do her bidding, I don’t remember anything after that.”

“Convenient.” 

“But true.” The silence stretched as the tension grew, Merlin didn’t know what to do. 

“What will you do now?” Gwen asked, her voice still but a whisper.

“Hand myself in.” Merlin stated with conviction, and Gwen looked surprised. “I tried to kill you Gwen, I have no excuse.”

“Did you though?” Gwen’s voice was unsure. Merlin glanced up to her to see that see was perched on the edge of the bed. “Your ma-magic almost killed me but it didn’t. You could have killed me with a snap of your fingers.” She began to walk towards him slowly as if she was approaching a startled deer. She stood about 5ft away from him, her hands wringing in front of her. “So why didn’t you?”

“I don’t know, I wasn’t me at the time. But it doesn’t excuse what I’ve done to you.” Merlin stuttered out, he didn’t move from his uncomfortable position. His eyes darted between her neck and the floor, he couldn’t look at it without feeling sick but he felt he couldn’t look away, that he couldn’t shy away from what he had done. The silence returned and the tension hung heavy in the air.

“Do you remember the mouse?” Gwen asked quietly as she looked down at her fingers. Merlin glanced up at her, face furrowed in confusion at the sudden change in topic.

“The mouse you found in Arthurs rooms? Well I suppose Arthur found it first technically.” Gwen sat down with a soft sigh, “Remember how he told you to, and I quote, ‘Kill the damn thing.’ He gave you the address of the exterminator in the town before going to a council meeting. Instead of coming back to a mouse free room he came back to his rooms being infested with cats which had ganged up on you and had cornered you into the co as you held that silly little mouse out of their clutches.” Merlin and Gwen both gave a weak chuckle at the memory.

“You could of done what was easy, Merlin and killed it. It would have been dealt within under an hour and you would have had the day to do whatever you wanted. But instead you lured all of those bloody cats in thinking they would help catch the little thing.”

“Didn’t think that they would try and eat it.” Merlin muttered out, a ghost of a smile dancing on his lips as he remembered Arthurs face when he saw the cats clawing at his bed sheets.

“No you didn’t.” Gwen gave another laugh as her hand came to lightly touch the bruising on her neck; eyes staring at nothing as she relived the memory. “You spent all damn day trying to find it and when you did you rescued it from the cats and Arthur. You took it back to your room didn’t you? Gave it some oats and water, checked it over and then released it into the gardens.” Merlin felt a bit of faint embarrassment overcome him.

“You don’t like hurting things Merlin.” Gwen stated as she looked him dead in the eye and it felt like she was pining him to the spot. “Your too much of a softie for that.” Her eyes grew soft as she looked at her friend who looked so wrecked before her.

“But I-” Merlin began but Gwen held out a hand to stop him.

“A fool some may call me but I believe you. Whoever tried to kill me was a coward who used my friend to take the fall. I saw your eyes Merlin. It wasn’t you.” Gwen whispered, “But it may take me a while to get over this. I may shy away from you, be scared of you even, but I know it wasn’t you. Please be patient with me, I will get through this.” Gwen shook with quiet determination as tears fell from her eyes.

“Do whatever you need Gwen. Anything.” Merlin croaked out, “But may I ask a favour, even though I do not deserve it.” Gwen gave her consent with a shaky nod and so Merlin rose from the floor and walked over slowly, giving her every chance to escape or ask him to stop where he was. But she did neither, instead she tilted her chin up and set her shoulders back looking every inch of the queen Merlin knew she would be. Merlin reached towards her neck watching her repress a shudder.

“May I?” Merlin asked and Gwen nodded once more. Merlin heard her hiss slightly in pain as his fingertips touched her neck. Focusing on his friend he closed his eyes and felt his magic began to swirl within him.

“ _éow angsumnes þegn mín sylfre_ ” He whispered and Gwen yelped loudly as she slapped her hands around her tender neck. Merlin grimaced as he felt pain stretch down his own neck and onto his collarbone. 

“Merlin? What did you do?” Gwen exclaimed. Merlin opened his eyes to meet her shocked ones; he gave her a small smile and a little shrug, even though the little movement hurt.

“Least I could do.” He answered and Gwen’s eyes began to water as she took in what he had done. The bruises that once covered her neck now stained Merlins pale neck.

“You didn’t have too.” Gwen whispered she reached out to him as if she could physically take back what he had done.

“I know. But I feel better knowing that I could do something.” And it was true; though the guilt was immense he did feel a little lighter knowing his friend was no longer in pain. In the silence of that moment a groan was let out and both Merlin and Gwen spun round to Gaius began to wake up. Merlin not knowing what to do stood there as his old mentor looked at him.

“Merlin?” Gaius called out as he blinked through his lingering lethargy. He swiped a hand over his eyes and looked at Merlin again as if he couldn’t believe he was there. “What are you doing here?”

“I needed to see Gwen, needed to know she was okay.” Merlin answered honestly. “I’ll return back to my rooms now.” But as he turned to the door Gaius stepped in his way. 

“If you go back to that room you will be dead by sunrise.” Gaius grabbed his arm as a desperate attempt to stop him, “You can not go back, they will give you no trial, no chance to prove your innocence.”

“How do you know I’m innocent Gaius?” Merlin asked out of curiosity.

“Because of that creature in your neck my boy. As soon as I got it out it was like someone had snuffed out a flame in you. You were fighting me so hard, saying you needed to kill the King over and over, and then you just... stopped.” Gaius gave him a look with one eyebrow raised. “But really Merlin, you were threatening to kill Arthur. Arthur, Merlin. You don’t even like to kill flies Merlin.”

“Big softie.” Gwen chimed in.

“Indeed.” Gaius agreed.

“Gaius is right you need to run, Merlin”

“But Arthur-“

“Arthur can’t help you, half the castle saw you use magic. There’s no hiding anymore Merlin, Arthur can’t protect you this time.” Gwen said as kindly as she could, but urgency tinted her tone.

“She’s right my boy, you can’t stay here and expect to live. You must go, we shall cover for you.” Gaius stated as Gwen nodded in agreement, “I will work to clear to your name, luckily I was able to take that creature out of your neck without it being destroyed and with some investigating we will be able to prove your innocence.” 

“But I’m not-” Merlin began to argue, but again Gwen cut him short.

“Someone used you, took control of you. You had your free will taken of you and used you like a puppet. And then they let you go so you could take the fall.” Gwen rested her hand on his cheek, “Let us help you this time.”

Suddenly with no warning, two of the Knights that had been banging on Merlins door earlier came in brandishing their swords. The first one yelled out and pushed Merlin away from Gwen resulting in Merlin losing his balance and toppling backwards and cracking his head on Arthur’s desk. His vision went blurry and his ears began to ring, he could just make out the second guard grabbing Gwen and Gaius and trying to drag them out of the way as more Knights and Guards swarmed into the room. 

His vision deteriorated as the shapes became less and less defined and all of the shouting and crying faded into the background. At the end of it all Merlins world faded to swirls of red, gold and blue before he fell unconscious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that took far too long, I re-wrote the beginning about 5 times.   
> It was originally going to be longer than this but I felt if I didn't stop it soon I would of written the whole bloody thing in one chapter.  
> I hope you enjoyed reading it!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note some slightly dark themes at the beginning.

Merlin always believed himself a coward.

He hid behind lies and half-truths. He lived a double life of which only three people knew of and Merlin knew that if it weren’t for Morganna’s intervening it would of stayed like that for years to come. He would have continued his life of a servant, a life of being snubbed by nobles of whom he could turn to ash. Being humiliated by undeserving knights who he could kill with a single word. A servant who could tear down a King.

Merlin clung on to the darkness that descended upon him. He had no wish to wake up. Merlin’s thoughts were dripping with self-loathing as he knew he wished he could just fade away, leave it all behind. He would be a coward to his dying breath, fitting in a way he supposed, wanting to take the easy way out. 

But it wasn’t cowardice, not really. In a way it was more selfishness than anything. A coward would have ran from Camelot long ago, hell, a coward would never of gone to Camelot in the first place. 

For the first time in his life Merlin felt as if he belonged somewhere. When his mind drifts to thoughts of home he sees spiralling towers and stonewalls that once seemed so cold and imposing now feel familiar and safe. He feels the warmth of the kitchens fire surrounded by those who are more family than friends, he feels heat curling in his belly from the mulled wine that Cook had heated up for him when he came to the celebrations late. He hears the laughter and the banter of the Knights who tease him ruthlessly but would defend him with sword or by word if it were needed. 

But most of all he thinks of the nights when the pretences of a King and a Servant melt away with the dying light. Many people treasure gold and gems but in Merlins eyes nothing compares to the moment when he see Arthurs walls come down, when he decides to trust Merlin with Arthur and not the head that holds the crown.

And as many fools who have fought and died for the treasures of wealth, he too will fight for what he treasures most. He would die for it too. He almost has on certain occasions.

And that is why he wishes to fade to the darkness, not for the fear or the wrath that is about to come his way but like all old mad men he wants to keep his treasure safe and if that means staying in the darkness to keep his memories untouched by reality then he would do it. If he opens his eyes to see Arthur turn away from him, he wont know what he’s going to do.

But alas it seems he has no choice, he begins to hear garbled voices through the silence of his mind. It’s almost like he was underwater drifting towards the surface, with each passing minute the voices become clearer and Merlin struggles to return to the darkness. 

Merlin comes around on the floor lying against the table his head stuck up at an uncomfortable angle. His mind struggling to make sense of his surroundings, the sights and sounds not syncing correctly in his mind, but amongst the confusion stood a figure of gold and red.

Arthur.

“Arrgh-thurrr?” Merlin slurred tilting his head from where he lay. The previously stationary room moved around him causing his stomach to turn in time with the twisting and tumbling of the view. He tried to sit up but fell over like a drunkard in a gutter. 

“Whaa thuh ‘ell?” Merlin muttered to himself placing a hand to his head as if he could physically stop his spinning head. A sharp pain ricochet through his skull causing him to double forward and smack his forehead upon the wooden floor.

“Oww…” he whined. 

“Get up.” Arthurs voice demanded of him but sounded more a kin to the din of a church bell far to close to Merlins poor ears.

“Sire he’s bleeding. Please.” Gaius, was that Gaius? If Gaius was asking permission from Arthur he apparently got the Kings blessing because familiar frail hands were suddenly pulling Merlin back. 

“C’mon boy sit up, let me have a look. There that’s it, lean backwards a bit more.” Merlin sat up gradually, fighting the urge to curl back up with each throb of his head. Gaius carefully took Merlins head in his hands and inspected it as best he could under the weak light.

“I need you to talk for me Merlin. Well theres something I’d never thought I’d say.” Gaius attempted joke fell flat, as he tilted Merlins head back to study his pupils. “What day is Merlin?”

“Arthur.” Merlins reply spilled out of him, his eyes flickering around his mentor’s head to try to look at his King. He saw Arthur flinch at his name, or was it the way he said his name? Merlin was too disorientated to tell. Gaius’s hand crept into view only a few inches away from his face and clicked twice, with each click resonating in his head.

“Merlin focus. You may have a concussion; you need to answer my questions lad. What day is it?”

“Wednesday”

“Good, good and where were you born?”

“Ealdor”

“And what is your Mothers name?”

“Hunith” 

“Well your slurring’s gone away, which reassures me a little but you do have a mild concussion, maybe bordering on severe, it’s to early to tell. Ill need to keep an eye on you, make sure you don’t deteriorate and someone will need to wake you every half hour if you fall asleep.” Gaius informed him.

“He’s going to the dungeons.” Arthurs steely voice stated. Gaius turned to stand in front of Merlin; his caretaker’s long robes blocked Merlins view of Arthur and most of the people in the room. 

“He could fall unconscious sire, many of those who fall asleep after a head injury as such as his never wake up.” Gaius pleaded; he took a few steps towards the boy he watched grow only to have a soldier cut in front of him, sword posed and ready.

“He lay chained in your chamber under your suggestion, physician, and he escaped. He will not escape again.” Arthur’s words were final. The coldness of his voice sent a shiver down Merlins spine that he couldn’t repress. “Move, Gaius.”

Gaius stared up at the young King, old and weaker than some he may be but Gaius was stubborn, and more importantly, loyal. He knew the ins and outs of the court; he had been part of it for long enough. He had learned and observed through trial and error of both himself and others. He had several times nagged Merlins ear off about proper decorum in his earlier manservant days, but Gaius always knew that there is a line, a line that if those above him decide to cross Gaius would not let good manners stand in the way of his morals.

“I swore to his mother I would protect him.” Gaius hands twitched as his mind rushed through the dozens of spells and incantations that he could remember. It had been a while since the healer had last used magic, and it felt like it too, but it was his last resort of keeping Merlin safe. He could buy Merlin some time to escape, or at least until Merlins wits had returned to him. “And I will do as such.”

The soldier in front of him drew his sword fully ready and willing to take on the physician and prove his worth. Gaius’s reaction times weren’t like they were; by the time the young soldier had raised his sword to swing Gaius had only just recalled a practical defensive spell. But before anyone could move Gaius was flung half way across the room to land crumpled on Gwen’s temporary bed. Gwen let out a yell of fear as he bounced safely upon the bed. He felt the young girls hand pull him over and help him sit up.

Merlin stood wobbling in the middle of the room his right arm outstretched towards the bed but his eyes locked on Arthur.

“You were going to let him do it weren’t you?” Merlin whispered in disbelief. Golden swirls moved between his open fingers, crackling and lashing out in warning. But Merlin let it do so, he had no wish to fight them, he would go peacefully even, no magic involved. But he will not let them take liberties with his surrender, he was not as defenceless as they thought. “You were going to let him kill him.”

“No.” Arthurs voice was terse, and that’s when he saw the Kings hand wrapped around the wrist of the soldier. “I don’t harm my own.” Arthur’s eyes flickered momentarily over to Gwen who was currently tending to Gaius. Merlin flinched at his meaning, guilt again overcoming him and he couldn’t meet his friend’s eyes, instead looking at a point beyond the king’s shoulder. His magic disappeared with a single thought and a little part of Merlin felt relieved that his magic was doing his bidding, this situation could be much worse otherwise.

Arthur murmured something in the soldier’s ear who nodded profusely before stepping away as the King let him go. The soldiers in the room stood in semi circle behind the King, normally protocol would dictate that the guards should stand between the King and the threat in question but whenever a brave soul tried to stand in the way they were halted with a sharp glare from the King himself.

This was personal, and all in the room knew it.

Arthur’s face was like carved stone, unmoving and unfeeling. Over the years of living amongst the shadows of nobles, Merlin had learnt to see the people behind the masks of their titles, the rest of the kingdom had not. Fables of royalty and war skew the true image of being a King, installing fear and awe in the hearts of Camelot’s population. Their shaky bows and tense curtsies whenever Arthur walked by astounded Merlin, not that he didn’t believe Arthur didn’t deserve respect but rather why the people were so afraid of the King.

He understood now.

Arthur stood in his casual clothes, whether he had just thrown them on or was in the process of taking them off Merlin couldn’t tell. They were scruffy (for a King) unkempt and twisted and if this were a day of the past Merlin would have given a sigh of fond exasperation and remarked on the Kings ability to dress himself like a three year old. But this wasn’t then, this is now, and right now the clothes didn’t matter.

Arthur held his back impossibly straight, stance wide and arms held behind his back. Piercing blue eyes pinned Merlin in his place, his jaw jutting out slightly and tension bled down his neck and through his shoulders. It was almost as if he was restraining himself from throttling Merlin, and it looked like he was about to snap.

“Arthur, I’m sor-” Merlin began his voice scratchy and hoarse but he was cut off by a humourless snort.

“Your sorry?” Arthur sneered taking a step closer towards the newly revealed warlock. “Of what? Hurting Gwen? Practicing magic? Lying to your King?” 

“Arthur please, let me expl-” Merlin pleaded taking a step back as the King closed in on him. The sudden movements caused his stomach to lurch as the room began to spin once more.

“Explain? Yes, please, explain. Explain why you would side with Morgana when you know the deaths she causes. Explain how you could perform magic when you know what dangers it brings.” Arthur stopped just a few feet from the sorcerer, his eyes were wide and desperate and so unlike the King he saw just moments ago. “Explain how you could lie to me.”

Something in Merlin broke with that desperate yet earnest last plea. Merlin tried to centre himself by taking a shaky breath as he closed his eyes. The vision of the warped room and Arthurs face blinked away to darkness.

But before Merlin had chance to utter a word the ringing of the warning bells broke the strained silence. The second and final time the bells would ring this night.

“Morganna?” one of the guards questioned. And all soldiers in the room looked towards the King for orders, some even readying themselves to run out the door.

“Stay here, it’s most likely a warning bell. They don’t know the traitor has been found” Arthur assured them, and the soldiers look a slight less flighty, their sole attention returning back to Merlin, not giving the door another thought. 

Screams from the courtyard below quickly disproved Arthur’s theory.

“DRAGON!” Someone outside yelled and Merlin whirled round to the window and searched the night sky. And high above the clouds, floating on the breeze like a child’s kite was an unmistakable golden dragon. The dragon circled the castle in slow hypnotising circles reminding Merlin of a buzzard cornering its prey.

“Kilgarrah” Merlin whispered. 

“A Dragon? The last Dragon is dead there are no more! You told me I killed it.” Arthur whispered, his skin turning pale as he began to fill in the blanks, “You swore to me Merlin. You swore!” Arthur tugged a crossbow out of a guard’s hand and levelled it to his eye with practiced ease. 

“I made him leave! I told him never to return Arthur.” Explained Merlin, “I couldn’t let you kill him, he’s the last of his kind!”

“You know of it?” A wild crazed look appeared in Arthur’s eyes, as realization hit him. “Wait, no, you know it. How could you know it?”

“I have known him for many years. As long as I have known you in fact. He was kept in a cave not so far from my quarters. I know what he did Arthur but you must know what has he done for Camelot, for you! With out his help you would be long dead.” Merlin tried to reason.

“Oh so I should then thank it then? Thank the monster that escaped too only cause hell and terror upon my people?” Arthur saw Merlin flinch at the memory of that dark day, but he caught the flash of guilt that covered the warlocks face.

“It did escape, didn’t Merlin?” Arthur asked desperately and Merlin wondered how many more truths his King could handle, but Merlin would lie no more.

“I let Kilgarrah free.” Merlin declared and he felt the whole room hold its breath. 

“You let it out?” Arthur asked unbelieving and Merlin saw his mistake. Letting Kilgarrah free was something he regretted once, the dragon had left scars on Camelot both on the castle and her people. But as the years passed and more of his own were slaughtered Merlin had grown older and wiser to the world and he finally understood the rage that had kindled inside the great dragon. He had just wished he had handled the situation better. He had blamed the Kilgarrah for the destruction of Camelot and the death of his father but never saw it from the Dragons point of view. 

Kilgarrah had lost everything. He was kept as a trophy, a mockery, an icon meant to represent Uther’s victory over his fallen brethren.

“I promised him. He helped me time after time only asking for one thing in return, his freedom.” Merlin explained. “He deserved that at least.”

“Do you feel no remorse? No guilt? People died that night Merlin, innocent people!” Arthur yelled at him, stepping closer to the warlock the crossbow being held so tightly his knuckles turned white. 

“Of course I bloody do Arthur! I wish it had gone differently, I really do, but it didn’t. I can’t change that no matter how much I want to.” Merlin shouted back.

“You let that monster out-“

“The only monster in Camelot was your father!” Merlin cut him off in a rage. His hands shaking at his sides as his iron hot magic began to spark around the room. Objects in the room began to rise of their own accord; the furniture began to rattle as if there was an earthquake. Some of the knights yelled in surprise poising their swords ready for an unseen enemy, even Gwen and Gaius huddled together and eyed the sparks of gold with unease. 

“What?” Arthur’s reply was sharp and terse, seemingly ignorant to the obvious presence of magic in the room. 

“Kilgarrah attacked because he wanted to die. He wanted his freedom but it in the end it wouldn’t matter, in the cave or in the air, Kilgarrah would always be alone. Imagine it Arthur, that every single human being was slaughtered for simply being born human, except you. Wouldn’t you want revenge? Wouldn’t you go mad? Hell you almost killed your father when you found out that through his greed he killed your mother and through his pride he killed so many more.” Merlin stood with his chin held high and jaw clenched as he spat at Arthur and held nothing back.

“Still your tongue, or ill have it cut out!” Arthur raged, his fair face turned red almost in an instant. “You know nothing about my father, he gave everything for this kingdom, for my mother, for me! You can hardly say the same.”

“I GAVE MY LIFE FOR YOU.” Merlin cried, “Over and over I gave myself for you. Risked my life for you and hell I’ve even risked other peoples lives for you, Arthur!” 

“WHY THEN? Why me, Merlin? If everything you just said were true, that my father was a monster, why would you ‘protect’ me? I’m the son if the man you hated.” Arthur screamed at him, tears glistening in his eyes. Too many emotions were flickering across his old friends face. “I don’t understand.” His voice broke, vulnerable and cautious. All Merlin wanted to was cross the room, to somehow close this gap between them. Arthur had never felt so faraway, it was almost painful this space between them. 

Words couldn’t come to Merlin then, his mouth opened and for once nothing came out of it. 

Something outside, and Merlin could hazard a guess as to who, made a deafening sound in the courtyard. The ground violently shook underneath Merlins feet, causing the walls of Camelot to shake in response. Yells and screams filled the room clashing with the sound of drawn swords and clanking armour, now the soldiers stood in front of Arthur as the king turned pale and drawn. An ominous feeling shot down Merlins spine at the sight. 

“Young warlock.” A deep yet oh so familiar voice greeted. Merlin span around to face the window; the entire frame was filled with the eye of the dragon as Kilgarrah peered into the room.

“Kilgar-” Merlin stepped to the open window ready to will the dragon away. The beast had broken his promise; he had gone against a command of a Dragon Lord. He was not meant to be here, but before his anger had chance to spike a twang of a string sounded and pain suddenly exploded in his mind as something shot through his left shoulder and he stumbled forward with a scream of pain. Merlin looked to see an arrow head gleaming with blood protrude from his shoulder, another roar of pain ripped from his lips as the dragon outside screeched in tandem.

His magic which had previously been under his control now ran wildly through his body, Merlin tried to hold onto it, tried to rein it back, but the pain made it hard for it to concentrate. His magic was angry and so he too was now furious, raged gripped him like nothing before and with a burst of energy he shouldn’t of had he span round magic flaring ready to kill the guard that shot him.

But there was only one who had a crossbow drawn. 

Arthur. 

The Kings eyes were wide with horror; his usually steady arm shook violently the crossbow rattling along with it. His magic left him as quickly as it came, the fire that consumed his blood now vanished leaving him light and empty.

“You want know why I risked my life for a man who was honour bound to kill me?” The fight had gone out of Merlin; he just wished to escape back to the darkness, away from Camelot and his King. “Because it was you, Arthur. It was always you.”

For years to come Merlin would always wonder what had caused him too pass out then, was it his pounding head? His dramatic timing? The searing pain in his shoulder? Or the fact that the man he had spent the last 7 years protecting just tried to kill him. 

But as Merlin began to black out he tipped backwards through the open window. The last thing he saw of that room was Arthur desperately knocking his guards out of the way, running for the window. Did he want to finish the job? Watch Merlin splatter onto the courtyard? Well he hoped he enjoyed the sight Merlin thought spitefully as the darkness finally claimed him.

 

‘Merlin.”

Well this is familiar Merlin thought.

“Merlin”

Yep, defiantly been here before.

“Young warlock, wake up.”

Merlins eyes fluttered open the direct sunlight caused him to flinch and try to shield his eyes from the glare. But as he went to lift his left arm to do just that pain shot through the left side of his body. 

“Fuck” Merlin gasped in pain.

“Language” the Great Dragon admonished, as if Merlin were a misbehaving youngling. Merlin glared up at flying reptile that had curled itself around him. The warlock could feel the cold hard ground underneath him; the strands of long grass tickled his cheek.

“Where are we?” Merlin questioned. His right hand felt across the grass, as if he could figure out where he was just by touch. He felt his fingers begin to tingle with numbness as his body began to chill with cold air.

“North.” Kilgarrah replied as he stared up at the sky watching a flock of birds fly by twittering as they went. Merlin waited a moment for the dragon to continue, and like he should have expected, Kilgarrah did not.

“Care to elaborate?” Merlin drawled, looking up at the golden dragon’s head.

“North of Camelot” The dragon answered, and Merlin would swear that a smug grin played on his lips. Merlin rolled his eyes in annoyance but accepted the answer anyway. He had known Kilgarrah long enough to know that was all he was getting out of the dragon for now.

Merlin tried to sit up, but could only make the attempt once. The pain in his arm was too much to handle, and the young warlock found himself exhausted, physically, mentally and emotionally.

“I don’t think I can move.” Merlin said in a quiet voice, like he was ashamed of his weakness. 

“I should think not” the dragon gave him a cool look, “I have not the medical knowledge of humans as of the like of Gaius, but I can advise that you don’t move. You’ve been through quite the ordeal tonight, just rest”

“My arm...” Merlin began before looking at the arrow still lodged in his shoulder. He quickly had to look away again after his stomach rolled at the sight of his own blood. Or the fact that Arthur had been the one to do this to him. Either one.

“Its best not to remove the arrow just yet, you may bleed out. The end has snapped off so you can sleep for now. There is a village not so far from here, you should go tomorrow to have it dealt with.” Kilgarrah informed him.

“Infection could settle in, I should really deal with it now.” Merlin disagreed recalling some of his lessons from Gaius, “and I shouldn’t really sleep my head was pretty badly knocked up.”

“For a normal human I would agree with you. But we both know you are by no means a normal person, are you Emrys?” The dragon chuckled lightly, “Your magic is protecting you from harm, have faith in it young warlock and it will not fail you”

Merlin gave the dragon a dubious look, or attempted to anyway. It was a hard look to create when your eyes wouldn’t stop drooping.

“Rest Merlin, I believe you’re going to need it for what’s ahead.” The dragon whispered cryptically, “None shall harm you.”

As the dragon laid his head on his tail, his teeth gleaming white in the morning sun, Merlin was inclined to believe him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY A DRAGON! 
> 
> I always love fics when Arthur reacts in a more angsty/angry way when finding out about Merlins Magic (which is to be fair most of them). I like to see the trust being rebuilt between the two, but that won't be done for some time in this fic i'm afraid.
> 
> Why did Kilgarrah come back to Camelot? It was very convieniant, I know but there is a reason, I promise.
> 
> And poor Merlin, he keeps getting cut off in this chapter, let him speak people!
> 
> Thankyou for reading!


End file.
